Time Lost, Time Found

This blog post does not address the grief many of us experienced as our family and friends were lost to the ravages of COVID-19. It is not my intention to minimize our profound losses, but to offer perspective on time. My heart is with all of you.

TREVANN

It seems nearly every week for the last few months I’ve heard someone lament about life since the start of the pandemic. I can’t blame them. I’ve lamented too. The last year and a half has been surreal at best and at worst, lost time. Here are the Top Three Laments.

• The COVID 15. Or as I call it the pandemic 20. There are probably a few reason for this community-wide weight gain. More people than ever were baking for the first time or honing their baking skills. We were also stress eating—this was stress unlike anything we’d experienced before.

• The vicious cycle of anxiety-produced hyper-vigilance. We worry, wash hands continually, wipe down groceries, collect sanitizer and masks, and read too many articles about the virus.

• Guilt we didn’t accomplish more. Many of us overachievers/compulsive workaholics have given serious thought to what we could achieve given a year of excess free time. And then, given the time, we didn’t do it.

• De-conditioning. Active jobs became remote and sedentary. To add insult to injury we had no access to pools, gyms, and competitive sports.

As the world reopens (for better or worse), and people begin to go more places and do more things, the weight of grief for the Lost Year and a Half is dissipating. But it isn’t good enough to forget why and how hard we grieved. We have to embrace it and find the lessons learned.

A pocket watch in the sand at sunrise. Or sunset.

For instance, reframe the noise in your head that says you didn’t accomplish anything. If you give it thought I am quite sure you’ll figure out something you accomplished. We learned to bake,didn’t we? We taught ourselves computer skills we didn’t previously have. We cooked at home moreRemember we spent a lot of intensive time with our families and closest friends. First of all, if your family and friends are anything like mine, that is an accomplishment. But we also created new memories. Learned something new about the people we love. Treated each other with extra special care. 

Many of us kept the world turning. We did our part to keep the supply chain moving—the truck drivers, the grocery store workers, the delivery folks. We taught our children. We took care of the sick and cared for the elderly. 

Our lives were boiled down to the most important people, places, and things. Nothing had been lost. We found time.

Four things You Can Do To Stop Worrying.

It will come as no surprise to many of you that I am a worrier. I worry about my family and world peace. I worry about my reputation and my professional success. I worry about my health (a terrible predicament for a near-hypochondriac). I worry about global warming, COVID-19, and job security. 

I try very hard to NOT worry, but it’s complicated. Worthwhile ventures often are, but you can learn from my trial and error. Here are four things you can do instead of worrying.

1. Do something creative.

Science tells us that creative action lowers cortisol, the stress hormone. When cortisol is reduced, we feel more relaxed and gain a greater sense of perspective. It also increases dopamine, the “happy hormone.” Increased dopamine, in turn, can make you more creative. Consequently, it’s difficult to worry and engage in something creative. The really great thing is it doesn’t matter what creative endeavor you pursue. I write. I also crochet, scrapbook, and dabble in graphic design.

2. Listen to music.

Particularly music you love. Research tells us that when we listen to music that moves us, the “happy hormone,” dopamine increases. A lot of music moves me so much it makes me cry tears of the joyous and melancholy variety. I’m pretty eclectic in my tastes. While Prince is my number one musical favorite, I listen to Florida Georgia Line, Justin Bieber (Don’t hate. He has a fantastic voice.), Nine Inch Nails, and Rachmaninoff. 

3. Eat Chocolate.

Both dark chocolate and milk chocolate have been shown to reduce stress. Dark chocolate, however, is the king of stress relief. It has been shown to reduce cortisol (the stress hormone), and it contains magnesium (known to reduce symptoms of depression). The benefits don’t stop there. Dark chocolate contains flavonoids, which have been shown to improve cardiovascular functioning. You’d gain extra advantages if you eat your chocolate slowly and mindfully. It’s something called Chocolate Meditation.

Chocolate, not your thing? Try a cup of chamomile tea (those flavonoids again) or green tea (contains theanine, which may increase serotonin and dopamine). Learn more about these food items and more here.

4. Breathe.

There are so many sources online that support the use of breathing exercises to reduce stress. During a recent, persistent episode of worrying, one of my favorite medical people reminded me that deep breathing triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting calmness. He instructed me to take five deep breaths. It worked like magic. I immediately felt calmer. Dr. Andrew Weil has a lot to say on the subject and offers these exercises.

I think worrying is a part of my basic personality and, as such, it’s difficult to stop. I’m not even sure I’d want to since worrying has occasionally saved me from making big mistakes. But sometimes, I worry about things I have zero control over. It’s in these times I use this list.

Let me know if you try any of them. Also, if something not on the list works for you, please do share.

Poison Ivy

If I haven’t already mentioned, my philosophy about all things green or flowering is “grow if you want to.” Sometimes it works in my favor. For instance, I once bought a discounted plant. It was priced at 75cents because the few remaining leaves were brown and scraggly. You couldn’t even tell what it was supposed to be. It was clearly dying. I felt like it needed a home. At least its final days would be happy. That was five years ago. It’s now a thriving philodendron.

Of course, sometimes my philosophy fails me, and a plant takes advantage of my kind disposition. Like poison ivy. I suppose I should call it MY poison ivy as it’s taken up residence in three places in my yard. If it had been content to stay in one area, it could make itself comfortable. But it decided to push the envelope.

Now, this plant has me hostage. I can’t kill it. There’s nothing I know of that will destroy this menace that won’t also kill everything else—in direct opposition to how my garden grows. What to do?

I have no choice but to suit up in long sleeves, gloves, a face mask, and long pants and try to extract it with my bare hands. Wish me luck. If, by chance, you have a better idea, please share.