Abundance and Gratitude

I am, by nature, an emotional person. I cry at television contests (I can’t get through Dancing with the Stars or the Great British Baking Show without tears. Seriously.) I get choked up at family sagas, coming-of-age tales, and most romance stories. My heart is overjoyed when the underdog wins

I’m most emotional at this time of year. Throughout November, I make it a priority to be completely aware of all of the things in my life I’m thankful for: A partner who is my best playmate and who has my back through good years and the rough ones. Friends that love me despite the fact that I’m difficult to love. A job that suits my purpose. Caring and talented doctors. Brilliant and generous coworkers. My lovable dogs. My doll house of a home. Prince. BTS.

I appreciate each and every person who has read my books, signed up for my newsletter, or attended a workshop I’ve given. If you enjoyed them, then I consider you to be a kindred spirit. I’m ever grateful for you.

It hasn’t always been easy. I’ll spare you the details as I’m sure we all have had storms to weather. The point is, I’m grateful for the storms. They brought me here.

From my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving. May the day bring you peace, joy, and stuffing. Lots of stuffing.

Purpose

Existential dread is that feeling you get when you contemplate your purpose, your reason for existence, only to realize that one day you’ll be gone and at some point after that, you’ll be forgotten. It causes you to wonder what the point of it all is. What is the meaning of life?

It’s a not an uncommon human condition. I have had long moments of dread. It can feel pretty hopeless, and fill you with anxiety and sadness. It’s a place where we may find ourselves after a crisis, or a loss, or emotional trauma of any sort, but it is not a place you want to stay.

So what can you do when this hits you? First and foremost, if these thoughts lead to despair, reach out for professional help. There is no need to suffer.

If you are managing, you can scan the internet or the self-help section of the bookstore or library. You’ll find many suggestions. Here are a few strategies I’ve found effective for me.

Distraction It isn’t always a good idea to ignore the things that bother or upset you. This isn’t the case for existential dread. You should focus on things that give you joy, or entertain you and let go of the rest. Give yourself permission to play. The first time I remember feeling this way happened early on in my marriage. I started to see that nothing was as I thought it to be, even though I’d poured my heart, soul, and my entire being into the relationship. It was a big “what is the point” time in my life. Then I found Prince. He gave me joy, he gave me a group of friends that I have still. He saved me.

Live your values Admittedly, this is not easy when you're experiencing the pain of existence. But it helps to take stock of what’s important to you. Is it family? Service? Charity? Community? Hard work? Faith in a higher power? Identify what is the most important, and dedicate yourself to living it. Let it be your purpose.

Accept that there are things you may never know It’s still hard to talk about this, but my sister died a few years ago. I miss her every day. When she died I realized that I am the last person alive in my immediate family. That truth knocked the wind out of me. Did she know how much I cherished her? Why has she abandoned me? Why is life so painful? Why can’t we live forever? I work every day to accept that while it is human to ask the questions, there aren’t always answers.

Connections There are people who matter to you. It’s easy to forget you matter to them, too. Spend time with those you love, in person or virtually. Bask in the fact that you have touched their lives in a positive way, and let them touch yours.

That may very well be our purpose.

The NaNo Journey

Every year. Every damn year I sign up for National Novel Writing Month. You know—the international movement to write a 50K word novel in the Month of November. Sounds crazy, right? Well, it is.

In a way, it is a competition, but not a traditional one. You’re competing against your work. School. Family. Church. Friends. Bathing. Okay, maybe not bathing. But the point is, your quest for fifty-thousand words is in direct competition with your normal life. It’s not possible to have both. It is also a personal challenge—the proverbial hero’s journey.

In September, you’re in the middle of your ordinary world. you remember Nano is around the corner. But by the end of the month, the pull of the challenge calls to you. (The Call to Adventure) Then your family reminds you how stressed you were last year. You remember the sleepless nights, the pain of digging into your soul and puking up words. You think better of joining the madness. (Refusal of the call)

But soon, you get an email from the Municipal Liaisons. They’re excited that NaNo is almost here. They have advice and plans for gatherings and stickers. They. Have. Stickers. (Meeting the Mentor) So you decide, “Sure! Why not?” You sign on and come up with an idea for your project. (Crossing the Threshold) You begin to gather your friends and fellow writers around you. (Tests, Allies, Enemies) Misery loves company.

Excitement and adrenaline fuel your start. It isn’t easy, but you push through. (Approach). And then you face the dreaded “saggy middle”. Your brain spasms and you can’t think of one more word. Everyone idea you ever had vanishes like a wisp of smoke. But you forge on, writing prayers to the goddesses of stories , asking for them to save you just this once. Documenting your stream of consciousness thoughts about how much you suck as a writer. And then, a glimmer of an idea flickers. With renewed energy, you set the keyboard on fire and just before the stroke of 11:59 on the last day you enter your tome on the NANO site.(The Ordeal)

Despite your exhaustion, you put on the Nano Winner t-shirt you ordered and have a glass (bottle) pof wine. Much celebrating is in order. (The Reward) The next day you take a deep breath, and read your story. Coffee is brewing, and the last of those stale donuts are calling your name. It’s time to edit. (The Road Back)

At the moment, I’m making my Approach. It’s a slow start this time around, but I will persevere. I’ll battle work and cleaning my house. I’ll try not to ignore my friends and family. I’ll remember to bathe. I’ll be the hero of this journey.